It's definitely been a long time since I've updated anything on my website or blog. To be honest, I'm still not totally sure what my overall vision is for my blog, but I have felt deep within that I needed to at least post something. I've had a lot of words bottling up inside for a while now, and I wanted to get them out. So thank you in advance for being my outlet!
Let's pick up kind of where I left off last time. I shared with you about my passion and vision behind Samantha's Sweets because of an eating disorder. Now I want to share about how I made the decision to actually pursue this dream.
The original plan for my life was to be a teacher. I decided this when I was a senior in high school, trying to figure out what to do with my life. My first plan was to get a degree in Business Management and then eventually take over my parents' business, but that just seemed extremely overwhelming and not like something I wanted to do. So one thing led to another, and I felt like God was calling me to teach.
I'm not sure what happened, but long story short, I have just made it through my first year of teaching and realized that this is absolutely NOT what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I could go on with a list of reasons why I felt like it wasn't for me, but I will hold off on that. I am still trying to figure out why I thought God wanted me to teach just to end up not liking it. Perhaps I just wanted to make a difference in the world and teaching seemed like a good way to do it.
I made it through the first two months of teaching and realized quite clearly that I wanted out. I had always joked about opening a bakery when I retire. This thought came to mind in those first two months and I thought, "Well, why not right now?"
I am not completely proud of this, but I did attempt to leave my teaching job in October. It seemed to me a lot like an Abraham and Isaac situation because I would have been sacrificing everything to leave and put my trust in God. I would have ruined my reputation with lots of people and diminished my chances of ever landing a teaching job again. Not to mention, I'd lose the steady income that I had never had before. I really didn't want to go in either direction, and I hated the situation I was in. Either stay and be miserable for 7 more months or go and sacrifice everything. I prayed and prayed about a decision until I couldn't pray anymore. I eventually just said to God, I'm just going to go in there and say that I need to leave. I am putting my trust in you. If I leave, I know that you will provide for me financially and take care of things here at school. And I trust that if I am not supposed to leave, you will keep it from happening. Sure enough, when I went to turn in my letter, the superintendent and principal told me I needed to stay. I was pretty mad about it, but I had to remind myself of what I had prayed.
Anyway, back to the bakery thing. Honestly, the idea of it sounds completely crazy to me. I haven't really even been doing it for that long it seems. I was listening to a podcast by Tessa Arias recently where her guest Jess Larson talked about having "imposter syndrome" while starting her photography business. I can totally relate. It seems questionable to me that I should start a bakery when I have no idea about businesses and really don't even think I know enough about baking. I mean, I've never been to culinary school and I didn't get a degree in business!
But I keep getting these constant reminders that I just need to go for it. Truly, there is no better time than now. I trust that the Lord will see me through this, and anyway, what's the worst that can happen? I'm not going to die from it. I don't have kids yet, so my cost of living is still pretty low. I am lucky enough to have two business savvy parents and a fiancé majoring in Business Entrepreneurship to help me and teach me along the way. It's just like this feeling way down inside that I know I need to do this.
There's no doubt that life is about to get really crazy for me. Conor and I are getting married in November and I'm starting a business! I am so excited though. I have absolutely loved the process so far of planning our wedding and the thought of having my very own bakery gives me the good kind of butterflies. I am done with working at the school, and the freedom that I feel is unexplainable!
The future holds a lot of variables. I don't know where this business or my life will go, but I am looking forward to the journey!